2010

Christmas Morning

Well, the new year has well and truly begun, already into the second month, which is bringing us so many different emotions.

Christmas was a quiet time for us, revolving around close family. New Year was brought in with close friends. We needed to be close as a family, holding onto each other for support and strength. We had a quiet holidays, although managed to be quite busy. Brent went to Sydney on a 'CanTeen' camp, which he thoroughly enjoyed and the other times he was working. Liam and myself went down to Bunbury for a night to visit wonderful friends and also managed to see some movies. Shane was kept quite busy with work, although he had some trouble with other businesses closing over the festive season and not being able to get supplies.

The boys went back to school today, Liam started Year 7 and Brent is in Year 12. Both will be in their final years. It is amazing how when your kids start something that will be their last time that it makes you think of times gone by. The memories of them little came flooding back today, Brent in Kindy, some 13 years ago, he was sooo cute. Liam being just a baby at the time, having James getting into everything, climbing and running. To think really it was not that long ago, although Liam keeps telling me that it is. I am sure it won't be too long until he is saying to me, 'Mum where did the time go?'

Brent with his Kindy Teacher - When Liam was born - My Three Sons

It is a big year of firsts and lasts, Brent will get his car licence, complete his education and become more independant. Liam will complete primary school, go away to Year 7 camp and grow up far to quickly. It will be the first anniversary of James' passing. Not sure what feelings that will bring, but am bracing myself. I have a job for the whole year, I have not been employed since James got sick some three years ago. Shane with the business, exploring new opportunities and hopefully a new ute!!!

So many things are going around in my head, thinking of times passed, but looking to the future, wondering what it will bring. We as a family have been through so many emotions over the holidays and have many more to come. It is just taking time to be able to processes it all. The thought of Brent growing sooooo quickly is just mind boggling. It makes you realise that you must stop and take the time with your kids, because before you know it, they are all grown up. You are just left with each other. Although that is nice, it gives us time to re-connect and enjoy what brought us together in the start.

Well to all I hope that 2010 is good to you. That we can all enjoy this new beginning of a new year and be kind to each other. Remember the good times that have passed and treasure the ones to come.

Remember to love your family and always ring your MUM!!!
xoxox

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights like heavens stars reflecting on the snow,
The sight is so spectacular please wipe away the tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sound of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here,
I have no words to tell you the Joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sings,
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not far away we really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me dear ones you know I hold you dear
and be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year,
I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory of undying love,
After all love is a gift more precious than gold,
it always was most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do,
For I can’t count his blessings he has for each of you,
Do have a merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Anon.

The James Thomas Room

Well, what a special day. Today at our lovely primary school, that all the boys have attended and Liam still is attending, dedicated a new refurbished room in honour of our James.

The area is in the 'B' block of the school buildings, with classrooms all around the out side and a rectangle shaped space in the middle. When we first went to Swan View 9 years ago, this area was open with a few plants and lots of storage area with discarded items. Over the time we have been there, there have been a number of times to try and clean the area up. Last year our wonderful new principal, Marg managed to get it enclosed and cleaned up. It has lovely soft floor matting, roof over head with fans, lighting, tables, chairs, fridge and many more. They made the decision to call the room after James after much consideration. For a while it was just called the green room but Marg felt it needed something more. It was with honour that we agreed to naming the room 'The James Thomas Room' or JT for short. It showed us that James touched so many people in so many ways and will continue to do so through his name on this room.

We were lucky to share this special event with some of James' friends from his time at school, some of his teachers that are still at Swan View and close family. We had a fantastic morning tea, (thanks Mrs McGlew you are a great cook!) and we also released some yellow balloons, which seemed so fitting.

It was a lovely morning to remember our James.

Congratulations Phil & Lis

Yesterday my older brother Philip got married to a wonderful lady Elisabeth. I had the pleasure of taking the photos of such a beautiful couple. It was a lovely day, the sun was out and the warmth was fantastic. We had a great time, full of love and laughter. Lis is such a joy to be around, her smile just lights up her beautiful face and embraces you to smile along with her. She has the most beautiful family and sister. They have welcomed us into their family as we have to Lis into ours. It was lovely to be happy and joyous and celebrate. I really needed it.

Phil is happy again, laughing and enjoying his new life. It was very special to see the way he was around Lis, it made you feel good. I wish them all the best in their new journey together as husband and wife. To laugh together, play together and love together. Congratulations.

Another Milestone........

Well this week has been quite trying in many ways. I have known that tomorrow was fast approaching and just wished I could stop it. 7 months and it just seems like yesterday that I could hug and kiss my beautiful boy James.

We have had some sad news from the Holmes Family about beautiful Immogen. Immie has relapsed for the third time. It is very hard for her family but as our wonderful Miss Immie is such a battler and fighter we are not giving up hope. As long as she can fight we must all fight along with her. Stand by Fiona, Jason and Kody, offer support and positive thoughts and prayers. This disease is such a tough fight but our precious kids are worth the struggle. The treatment they endure, needles, scans and many procedures amaze us all in the strength they carry. I know I have learnt many lessons from James and many others that are still fighting. We need to remember these brave kids and thank them for how much they have given to us and everyone that they have touched. We should be very grateful for being able to walk, talk, sing and dance. Listen to music, enjoy the sunshine, treasure our children and be happy to have the chance to make things better.

Some days are harder than others but as we are left behind we must make the most of it. I know James would tell me to stop crying and it will all be ok. I just wish for one more hug, one more moment............

Sending good thoughts, vibes and prayers to the Holmes Family, stay together, help each other and wipe the tears together.

Family is what life is really all about.

6 months........

Today is a very hard day, I have been thinking about this day for quite a few weeks. Not looking forward to it, dreading it. I knew it was going to be hard but it is really hard. We now have James' room painted and Brent has moved it. It has bought back some life again in the room. Brent has been wonderful and kept a picture that James had hanging in his room, he as made room to display some of his things as well. I love looking at James' things that he has collected, played with, enjoyed and treasured. I dream of watching him play with them again.

We all miss him soooo much, it is amazing the giant hole that has been left.

You Will Never Be Forgotten

written by Jessica Andrews

I'll always see your face

The corner of your smile

And all the little things that no one will ever know

Like it was yesterday, won't ever fade away

Goodbye is just a word that I will never say

You will never be forgotten

A million days could pass us by

But what is time but just a dream

Oh I still feel you here with me

You're more than just a memory

Oh you will never be forgotten

I can't hold you hand

Or look into your eyes

And when I talk to you

It just echoes in my mind

But if hearts are made of dust

And if we fell from the stars

I look up tonight and know just where you are

You will never be forgotten

A million days could pass us by

But what is time but just a dream

Oh I still feel you here with me

You're more than just a memory

Oh you will never be forgotten

And the world just keeps on going

It has no way of knowing

That you're gone

You will never be forgotten

A million days could pass us by

But what is time but just a dream

Oh I still feel you here with me

You're more than just a memory

Oh you will never by forgotten.

Over a month.......ooops!

Well, here we are again, over a month this time. Sorry. I have a good excuse, I have been working. After doing some relief work at our friends real estate, they offered me a job. Which has kept me quite busy.

Over the past month I have been doing little bits and pieces in my beautiful boy James' room. This has been very hard and sometimes I have just walked in, looked around and just cried. Today we have managed to get all James' Lego and display it near our front door. We have put up some glass shelves and some white shelves to display it all. What a feat. I can't believe how much James has collected over time. It has turned out sooooo good that I wanted to share how it looks. We also got his light saber that he was given for Christmas in 2007 from his Uncles and Aunties from the Thomas side of the family and put it up with his photo we had at the funeral. It looks fantastic. Slowly things are getting sorted and tidied and we are finding a place for things, so that we can remember our boy. Once we have finished sorting out James' room we are going to paint it and Brent is going to move in.

We have had Brent's 16th Birthday, Brent managed to get his learners permit on his birthday which he was very proud off. It has been strange that where ever he wants to go, he has to drive. He is getting pretty good, but has a bit of a heavy excellerator foot. He is getting the hang that he has to slow down a bit or he won't get his licence because he is going too fast. lol. We all went out for tea for his birthday to Chatters. It was lovely, Grandma, Grandfather, Lidija, Liam, Shane and myself all went. We all had a great dinner and then came home for cheese cake, yum! Brent got lots of things for his car so he was very happy.

The boys have also been on holidays over the past two weeks. Brent worked the first week and then was lucky enough to go on a Canteen camp (a camp for kids with cancer, siblings, offspring and beveared kids as well). Brent has been to these type of camps before and so he had an absolute ball. The only problem was there was one kid that snored in his dorm so Brent didn't get much sleep. lol. He has been making up for it today when he got out of bed at 11am.

Liam has been a bit lost over the last two weeks, with me working and Shane working and Brent being away, Liam has been palmed off and handed around to different people to keep him amused and entertained. He has been very good with this and has managed to get through the holidays unscathed, I hope.

Shane is doing pretty good, although the weather has not been on his side, so he has been doing some jobs that are inside which has been helpful. He keeps getting new jobs to keep him busy which is also good. People are telling their friends and they are calling and asking for quotes and then getting Shane to do the work, which is all good for him and us.

The only bit a sad news to tell is that Brent's girlfriend is no longer on the scene. She felt that she needed a change and then she ended it with Brent. They have stayed friends, so that is something. Brent has (I think) gotten over the hurt and the not understanding, but that is what being a teenager is all about, learning, growing, getting hurt, then picking yourself up of the ground and continuing on with life. Sometimes it is a little harder to pick yourself up.

Well see you later, hope all is well, keep smiling and remembering our beautiful boy.